Monday, 24 August 2015

It's better to be angry.

This week's blog music is Brought to the Water by Deafheaven.  Certainly not everyone's taste but I'm going to see them this week and they also sum up my mood lately.

So it's been a couple of weeks since the last blog and I was all full of passion and eager to get stuck back in with gusto, well things haven't exactly gone to plan.  The thumb injury I complained of a few blog back is still playing up (must go to a doctor) my gammy old achilles tendons the same which has made things a pain in the arse to exercise efficiently and then the old black cloud of depression settled in again, and while it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be back in the day it did take me by surprise.  The healthier lifestyle and all the exercise have really done wonders for improving my mood this last 10 months but every now and then it just kicks in and couple of weeks ago it kicked in harder than it had for a some time.  No rhyme or reason for it as far as I could tell, life was great, just an overall feeling of worthlessness and a bleak empty hole where there's no point to anything where the enthusiasm used to be, fun eh!?

Luckily Diana and I had a short holiday booked and we headed to Amsterdam to see our joint favourite band Coheed & Cambria play and enjoy a few days sitting in the sun drinking Heineken by the canals.  Bliss!  Apart from the fact the it absolutely pissed down the entire time we were there, old Dan was more than a little disappointed.  Coheed were awesome though and regardless of the rain we still had fun.  A break is a break even if it's not ideal a few quality days with my girl, awesome pancakes and some very fine dutch weed and coffee and was good for the old brain box and I came home feeling much better even after not being in the gym for a whole 10 days.  10 days is an eternity, I'm usually in there 5 days a week.  My mental health is so often ties up with how clean I'm keeping my diet and how much I'm getting in the gym it was actually quite nice to focus on one without the other, even if I've probably got a bit fat as a result.

Me and Di and Coheed & Cambria.
Who were awesome.
So I'm back home and while still not 100% I'm getting there.  Things don't help, things like the heat and humidity leading to poor sleep, things like getting to the gym at 7am on a Monday morning in the rain only to remember too late that it's shut because the trainer's in Cyprus getting married (congratulations Daniel & Faye!), things like missing more workouts than I'd like due to other commitments and tube strikes and most most all things like going to FUCKING IKEA on a Sunday!  This was the first (and last) time I'd ever done this and Jesus Christ what are people thinking? What an absolute crush of humanity.  But the thing is, getting pissed off at crowds and long queues and screaming kids is a healthy response to those things, depressed Dan would have just been crushed by it, pissed off is good, it means I'm happier.  Next week we've got another few days away with friends in the countryside so that should help and I'll squeeze a few workouts in between then and now. The next blog should hopefully be back to feeling fit and healthy and eating a loads of healthy food and being super-motivated to improve my fitness again so I can write about that rather than all the reasons I've not been writing about that.  One step at a time, there's always bumps along the road and I'm glad that these days I can recognise them as only that.

Amsterdam in summer.
Thanks for reading.  Here's a grizzly bear rolling down a hill and the latest cutest thing ever, baby Tasmanian Devils

Amsterdam is great for the mind, not so much the waistline.
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